Where Twats Collide

I Cunt Hear You Speak Up

Big Boat

BEST OTEP BLOG
FaceBERK
My Beautiful Woman.
InstaGram
Monster Addict
Mountian Dew Addict
Recent Tweets @
My Fellow Twats

(via gelisava)

unravelung:

"I have not stopped thinking about kissing you. Your mouth has consumed my thoughts, and the idea I may meet it once again is enough to kill me. The ever so taunting memory of your lips pressed to mine continues to play in my head. I have lost all cravings except to feel the soft curve of your lips against mine once again. I only dream of you and it seems I am going mad. I want you back. I am going mad"

-I hope you know I want to kiss you by unravelung

(via thiscity-never-sleeps)

tokenppp:

Sorry that I came off as rude when that wasn’t my intent. I hope that you realize even women with a different size have a hard time as well.

I myself can tell you that I hate most of my body and I find that if I make a comment about myself in a funny way that it makes it easier for myself to deal with it.

I’m sorry that my comment was taken in a manner in which I didn’t intend and that it was taken as rude.

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via kanyequeen)

(via wolfinjesus-skin)

(via zodiacy)

queenchrissycumberbatch:

my friendship comes in 3 levels:

1) sass 

2) insults

3) inappropriate sexual humor. 

(via histinyplanetexplorer)

fanofallshippers:

icequeen102990:

glampora:

heytheresuckyq:

findinglady:

PLEASE PASS THIS ON! 

I want to make sure every one knows about this and what it can do to your pets 

this is what has happened to my sisters cat after she wore a hartz flea and tick collar and now has a burn like wound on her neck. please pass this on and do not buy hartz’s products! they use poison in their products pets have died because of this!!

http://www.hartzvictims.org/

Yes this is my cat she is doing fine at the moment but I’m so sorry for the people who’s pets are not so lucky

oh my god

PLEASE REBLOG THIS PEOPLE

save pets!

Hartz is the worse EVER! my aunt used it and it ended up killing two of her cats. only one survived but she had the worse skin condition. NEVER USE HARTZ

BETTER REBLOG THISS!!!

(via rainbowkittysam)

Lmao if only you wanted

(via bitch-i-invented-sexy)